just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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