How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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