Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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