Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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