so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Randomize
