that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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