WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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