I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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