all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
