i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
