she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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