no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize