His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
