Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
