Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize