omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we're making bets on your personal life
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
