now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
