Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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