Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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