Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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