Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
