If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
