i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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