You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
