is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
