He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
