You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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