So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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