My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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