Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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