I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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