are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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