glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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