it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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