Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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