Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so explain again why im purple
no
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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