Already got asked if we're dating
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
