she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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