I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
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Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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