You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
