I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Will exercising make me less horny?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
