I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
