So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
