She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
