So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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