yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
