never play flip cup with pint glasses
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
