Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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