Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize