The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
