I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
