I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
