I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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