my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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