I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think your dad took our porno
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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