her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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