I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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