I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
