OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
