I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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