So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
