I want to walk on stilts...naked
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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