it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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